Dear Mademoiselle X,
Okay, I’m old. I’m 42, and for the longest time I figured I was too old to worry about how to give a blow job in a car. But, now that we’re in a car more often without our kids, the thought has crossed my mind, like a dirty teenager. Hey, I kinda like that feeling! But, isn’t it stupid to get caught in a car, doing… something like that… at my age?? And what about hand jobs?? That just doesn’t seem fair to him. I mean, let’s see… the choice of going back home to have real sex, or get cheated by a quick hand job in a parking lot? Guys in a stable relationship wouldn’t possibly make that choice, would they? What other misconceptions am I holding on to as someone who’s been married for quite a while?
Dear Frisky Anonymous,
Age be dammed. There’s no right age for anything when it comes to sex. If it feels right to you, then it’s the perfect age. It’s totally normal for a mom to rediscover a taste for the kinky after her immediate parenting duties recede a bit. And, well, there’s something about cars that can just put you in the right mood! Maybe it’s the lack of interruptions, the forced intimacy, the vibrations from the engine… ahem!
But that wasn’t really your question, was it?
Let’s start with your last assumption. Trust me — and the guys I polled on this — there’s nothing in getting a hand job or a blow job in a parking lot that is going to make a guy feel cheated. After years of being forced to have “real sex” in the bedroom, most guys wouldn’t say no to doing something a little naughty to spice things up a bit. So while guys in a stable relationship might not opt for a quickie in the car with a “stranger,” they’d probably be up for it with their significant other. Still not sure if your man is up for it? Start small and build up. A quick caress here, a little pat there… you’ll quickly know if he’s on board.
As for getting caught… well, you’re going to have to play your cards right on this one. Chose your location wisely. The far corner of the really dark movie theater parking is a much better bet than a less secluded spot in the mall’s covered garage. Night-time is also preferable to broad daylight. Keep your clothes on and maybe have a jacket on hand for a hasty cover-up should someone walk by. My hunch is that a cop wouldn’t bother writing up two extremely embarrassed middle-aged lovebirds doing something discrete out of the public eye — especially when they see how hard you’re blushing!
Two last words of advice: When you move from the hand job to the blow job watch your back. Cars are tight spaces and throwing out your back takes all of the fun out of the game. We’re not 20 any more! And two, let go of the thought that any of this could pass as “instead of sex.” You’re going to get so turned on and it’s definitely going to be foreplay… for both of you.