I love words. I read, I write, I talk. A lot. Except when I’m having sex.
Then? Words escape me. If the sex is really good? Even my name escapes me. But when you’re in the midst of getting busy, I go in a trance.
The thing is, I know talking dirty is hot. I love the sound of my lovers voice in my ear telling me what he’s going to do to me or how I turn him on.
I used to have problems returning the favor. I knew the words to say. But hearing them come out of my mouth sounded forced, funny, or inappropriate. Which sorta is the point–being inappropriate.
Learning to say things other than “Oh God”, “More” and “Oh, yes, there, right there,” has taken time and practice.
At first, it was awkward and embarrassing. You have to get comfortable with the words and frankly, walking around practicing saying these risque things out loud aren’t your every day phrases . It’s not like you’re learning French via audiotape.
I started out reading. There are plenty of romance novels, trashy novels, or Penthouse Letters to read to give you an idea of what words and phrases to use.
Once you’ve found things you can comfortably say to yourself, and eventually to your partner, then it’s time to branch out. Try sending a sext message to your partner. Tell them what you want to do to them later. What you would like for them to do to you. Keep it simple. “I want you” works, or even “The things I want to do to you tonight…..” is always a good one. Trust me, they will be surprised and thrilled.
Once in bed, use what you’ve practiced. According to Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw (yeah, she’s totally quotable), “Sometimes a simple ‘You’re so hard’ is quite effective.”
Start out simple, whisper in your partner’s ear, “I love it when you….” and fill in the blanks. Or moan, “It makes me crazy when you…..” and tell them.
Once you find your words, you may never be quiet again.