It’s time to dust off your old cheesy pick up lines because I’m going to tell you a way to use them and enjoy them.

Last week my husband and I were out with friends.  We were at a tattoo parlor waiting for a friend of ours to get her dream tattoo.  We were laughing and having a great time, then she walked in.

Trust me when I tell you that it’s a good thing I didn’t get a picture of the front of her outfit.  It showed a lot more than the back does.  At first I was shocked.  She walked in without a care in the world, beer in hand and planning her next tattoo.

Then it hit me.  Why not?  She was with her husband, so it was okay.  That would surely add spice to your marriage.  What’s wrong with putting on something a little slinky and stepping out on the town.  Dressing sexy and showing off your cleavage never hurt anybody.  However, you might want to consider skipping your friendly neighborhood bar, and go somewhere where no one knows you.  Here are some dress up suggestions:

Or even a little silly sexy:

You can find these at any costume store.

Think about how much fun this would be.  Besides enjoying the stares from strangers, you could really turn your spouse on.

Here’s what you do to accomplish a perfect night:  Take separate cars to the meeting place.  Make up names and have an accidental meeting.  Use your cheesy pick up lines.  Dance up close and personal.  Remember to invade each others space.   Make it your own night.  Do what you enjoy.

When the dancing is done, have the best one night stand of your life!

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The smartphone. There’s an app for just about everything you could possibly think of, and sex is one of those things you’re probably thinking of. So, whether you want to add some spice to your night life or give a little kick to your Valentines Day, we have some apps for you.

6 apps to spice up your sex life:

Truth or Dare for Couples is $2.99 forAndroid. Here is another Truth or Dare for Couples available on both iOS and Android. Remember those days of your youth, playing Truth or Dare with friends at boy-girl parties? Well, have your very own adult boy-girl party with you and your partner and kick up those dares a notch!

A really interesting app that claims it will amp up your sex drive is Sex Drive ($1.99). This app claims to be a scientifically proven way to increase your sex drive by listening, through headphones, to a series of relaxing tones. So, toss out those pills and give this a shot.

Feeling adventurous? Up to trying some new (yet old) positions? Kamasutra is an ancient book of sexuality and sexual positions. Use this app and spruce up the repertoire a bit. Free for Android and .99 for your iOS device.

Spice Dice by Durex is available for both iOS and Android devices, completely free. It’s concept is simple, really. You roll the virtual dice and you’re presented with a sex position to try. There are diagrams and instructions on how-to as well as some advice. A “must try”.

One of America’s favorite magazines, Cosmopolitan, has an app available of both Android and iOS. Cosmos Sex Position of the Day  is $2.99 for the iPhone and around the same for Android. For bedroom moves inspiration or brushing up on the basics, this app has over 100 sexy moves.

It may cost .99 on iTunes but this app promises free orgasms. Sexy Game  can be played with two or more players. With its sexy graphics and sexier actions, this game is sure to deliver! It’s available for the iOS devices only.

Note, you must be 18 or over to download any of those apps.

What app do you use to spice up your sex life? Do share!

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Nadya Suleman, aka “Octomom” declared bankruptcy last May.

During the hearing, she announced to the world that she needed to make money and wanted to make a video of herself masturbating. When questioned on her previous anti-porn remarks, Suleman responded that she doesn’t consider masturbation to be porn since it’s “solo”.

 According to news sources, Suleman then sat back and waited to see which porn-maker did NOT approach her to make her movie, and that’s the one she selected. She claims she has been celibate for 13 years, never masturbated before filming and needed help from a pro to learn how to do it. Then had to be shown porn films to get her in the mood so she could perform.

She has done well with the movie as she recently showed reporters around her new, 5,000 sq ft home in Palmdale, CA. Although no legitimate source states how much she was ultimately paid; evidently, she got enough to manage quite well. Full version of the videos aren’t available to those unwilling to  pay for it but promos and trailers of it are out there.

Unfortunately, it looks just like any masturbation porno.

However, Nadya has managed to maintain a surprisingly good figure in spite of gestating as many as 8 babies at once for a total of 14. She denies having any surgical work done, claiming instead to have just “snapped back like a rubber band” after her mountainous pregnancy and rather misses her stretch marks. The movie’s popularity can only be explained by curiosity for the reality TV star.

Here’s an interesting quote from an interview after the movie trailers were released.

“I get way too much male attention, but I won’t date until the octuplets are 18 – I live for them now,” she insisted. “I know a lot of women like male attention, but I’ll go out with no make-up on and wear tracksuits, a wig and even a fake pregnancy stomach to put them off.”

Because that is the best way to put off the swarms of men who are panting at your feet: release a bunch of stills of yourself wearing lingerie and topless to promote a porno of yourself masturbating!

The movie was released back in June, but Nadya’s back in the spotlight again due to a Xanax addiction for panic attacks. She checked herself into rehab  and is debunking rumors that Michael Lohan (Lindsay’s dad) staged an intervention for her.

Well, we all have to do what we have to do to take care of ourselves and our kids. Just remember folks, when promoting your masturbation porn movie to the press, make sure to state, “I know I’m beautiful. I don’t need a man around to tell me that.”

Nope, just his wallet!

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We all know what Kegel exercises are, or at least we’ve heard what they are supposed to “do”.

Many of us who’ve given birth or have had an issue with urinary incontinence have been taught that the best way to “tighten up below the belt” is to do these exercises that involve strengthening the pelvic floor.

And yet, how many of us remember to squueezze your area while doing the dishes, or clench and hold in the car whilst waiting at a stoplight?

Or how about when you’re standing in line at the supermarket?

Are you more engrossed in magazine cover lines on “How to Save Your Sex Life” than taking moments to muscle up the walls supporting your uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum? Of course you are!

That’s why I was intrigued at the opportunity to review the “Veronica” from California Exotic Novelties. Designed by sex expert Dr. Laura Berman, this weighted pelvic exerciser is designed to strengthen your pelvic floor and doubles as a toy that can be used when the lights go down.

Two-in-one-fun? Yes, please!

The Veronica is made of a strong, clear resin, with three internal stainless steel balls, which initially made me nervous because it looks and feels like pure glass. I was afraid if I squeezed too hard it would shatter into pieces inside of me. But, I took a breath and thought my imagination was getting away from me. Ultimately, I discovered the Veronica is shatter-proof.
The objective is to perform traditional Kegel exercises, but using the instrument, ie, tightening your pelvic floor muscles, holding the contraction for five seconds, and then relaxing for five seconds. You repeat this for four or five times in a row, aiming to keep the contraction for around 10 seconds and relaxing for 10 seconds in between sets. The goal? Stronger pelvic muscles, which helps achieve stronger orgasms and prevents urinary incontinence.

There was one issue—no directions in the box, so I had to go online, look up the device and figure out how to work the apparatus. The outside packaging said there were “2 unique pleasure tips”, one being a “curved tip for G-spot” sexual pleasure.

I can co-sign that the curved tip works if you’re using the “Veronica” as a regular toy.

Still, without official instructions provided, I had to look up traditional Kegel exercises, and make up my own routine in order to work out the Veronica’s internal stainless steel balls, which act as vaginal weights. I tried to walk with it, stand with it, and it was very awkward. Ultimately I just laid back and held it and it worked wonders.

Still, it would be nice to get the “official” instructions.

The “Veronica” retails for $42.99 and can be ordered through California Exotic Novelties.

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My husband Randy is not into body art, so temporary tattoos aren’t anything I would have looked for on my own.

But, with an assignment to try the Ta-ta-toos, I had a pretty funny evening.

The company sent me three tattoo kits to try and cover of the box shows a pair of very firm, perky breasts with the ta-ta-toos applied perfectly. The tats themselves are black with a red star and sassy, sexy sayings.

The ones I got said, “Satisfaction Guaranteed”, “Spank Me”, “Kiss Me” and three of them said “Lucky You”.

But they’re not a fixed set, you can mix and match; and after looking at them for a bit, I settled on “Lucky Me”, figuring Randy would appreciate the implied compliment.

So I went into the bathroom, took off my shirt and bra, opened the package and right away, I ran into a bit of trouble.

You see, the instructions are on the backs of the tattoos and in fairly small print.

I had to go get my reading glasses to see them.

Back into the shirt, into the living room where I keep the glasses, back into the bathroom and then I attempted to try it again. Now I can read the directions and they’re simple, which is good, because I’m the one they call whenever anyone claims to have something that is “idiot proof”.

First: clean, dry skin. Check. Second: peel the plastic sheet off the front of the tattoo and press it against the skin. Check.  Third: wet washcloth (I used warm water, because we all know what happens when our breasts get cold) and press against back of tattoo for 30 seconds. Check.

Finally: Peel gently away.

Now, I’ve done temporary tattoos before and this is always the part where everything goes to hell. It never peels off evenly, leaving me with a wadded up mess that adheres itself to my skin and permanently dyes it in some multi-colored blob. Or a host of other disasters.

So I was incredibly surprised when I indeed  had a perfect temporary tattoo.

I could feel them, but only when I moved a lot. They felt a little stiff, but it wasn’t uncomfortable and didn’t make me want to wash them off. I thought I might have actually branded myself with “Me Lucky”, because…see “idiot proof” remark above…but I did manage to accidentally get it right.

Randy was quite surprised when I casually took off my shirt as we were getting ready for bed and he saw them.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t turned on, but his initial reaction of wide eyes and an exclamation of, “What did you do?” was pretty funny!

Sadly, the Ta-ta-toos didn’t survive the shower.

They did survive the soaping and rinsing phase, but after I’d shaved my legs, I realized they were all but gone. Shame. But, it was a cool experience while it lasted. Applying them was easy; they looked good – as temporary tattoos go – and Randy’s reaction to them was fun. Also, imagining what his reaction would be made for some pretty good private entertainment as the evening wore on and bedtime approached.

The Ta-ta-toos, which cost $9.95, are fun, sexy and very eye-catching.  They take literally just a couple of minutes to apply; you could do it between dinner and dessert if you want to spice up “dessert”! Well worth it!

The post Review: Playing Breast Dress Up With Ta-Ta-Toos appeared first on You Won't Go Blind.

When I first got asked to review this, I thought, “Ugh, self-help book. Boring!”

But when I read the book’s premise “How changing your everyday habits will make you HOT for each other all over again!” that was sent along with the request, my interest was a little titillated.  And when the book “Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex!” by Maggie Arana and Julienne Davis arrived, I was relieved to see that it was fewer than 200 pages (190), including acknowledgements and introduction, which I confess I skipped.

I went into it with open mind, but looking for snark value, because how ludicrous to think that not using terms of endearment could enhance my sex life. The first thing I noticed is how down-to-Earth the tone of the book is.

I have certainly read self-help books (who hasn’t in this “enlightened” age?) which were so clinical and educated that they were impossible to understand to anyone who might actually need to read them. This book is a nice, comfortable read.

Its theory is that calling your spouse “honey” or any other cutesy name can damage his view of you, and your view of him. The pacing of the book was okay, but when I started getting bored, the writers would share a case history that revived my attention. The language used was generally casual but you can tell there are at least two voices being used. I never felt like someone in a sterile white coat was lecturing me, but I still had doubts about the value of the material itself.

However, I changed my mind by Page 50. That’s about when the warnings about baby talk and cutesy nicknames started. And I have to admit that once in awhile…okay, rarely….okay, occasionally I am guilty of that particular behavior so it caught my attention. I could see how calling your husband *“Snoogie-woogie-sweetie-cakes” could have a slightly detrimental impact on his masculinity, even if he doesn’t complain about it. And if he has a similarly saccharine nickname for you, well, isn’t it difficult to imagine hot, dirty sex with somebody who calls you *“Baby-snuggle-bunny”? In a high-pitched babytalk voice, no less? So, okay, there might be something to this.

And then there’s the discussion of sharing bathroom habits.

Oh, lord have mercy, some of those stories gave me a serious outbreak of the ookies! They shared several “case stories”, but the one which really stuck with me was the story about the couple whose male half seemed to take a childlike (or maybe sexual) delight in sharing his scatological times with his wife. He thought it was funny to show her the results of time he ‘d spent on the toilet and when she told him to stop that, he began to go out of his way to get her in there in time to see part of the process. Their marriage ended in divorce; she couldn’t feel sexual desire for a man she’d seen crouched above the toilet while crapping and grinning at her disgust.

Randy and I don’t do communal bathroom and never have, thankfully. Unless it’s an emergency, of course, or if one of us is sick and needs help. Other than that, if there is business going on in there that involves the Throne, it’s a single-occupancy room. A lot of our friends have laughed at us for that, but tell you what…it’s easier for him to admire my ass when he hasn’t seen what else I do with it.

But, things fell apart in Chapter 4. I found myself putting it down with no problem to go do other things. There was a lot of repetition. For example, in the beginning of the chapter when something like two full paragraphs are devoted to listing the shmoopy nicknames they’d run across. Well, that was the second time they listed those. The section on how to talk dirty didn’t catch my attention at all; I already know how to do that, and even if I hadn’t, I can extrapolate how to do it from the previous three chapters on how not to do it. There was a lot of repetition and wordiness in the last few sections of the book, as though they needed to fill it up.

After reading it, I had some questions I wanted to ask the authors. Julienne Davis graciously answered for both of them:

Q: Your book is pointedly heterosexual. Why aren’t gay or lesbian marriages/unions discussed?

I guess we were appealing to the  large majority.  That said, both Maggie and I absolutely believe the points in our book apply to anyone and everyone: gay, straight, young, old – anyone in a relationship – whether just starting one, considering one, or one that is months/years old. In retrospect, we probably should have used some of our interviews from gay/lesbian relationships also.  But really, what we found was it didn’t matter.  The same bad habits emerged whether a couple was heterosexual or not.

Q: How was your book received when it was first published? What kind of feedback did you get?

Some couples have written to us thanking us for saving their marriages.  Which was the biggest reward we could have gotten.  Others got really angry at our theory between the connection of pet names and less sex.  Obviously we aren’t saying that if you call each other Honey, Sweetie, or Nookums you will immediately stop having sex… but what we are saying is that what those nicknames do to each others’ psyche doesn’t help.  In a long-term relationship, wouldn’t you want to make sure you weren’t doing anything “damaging” to the relationship? We simply suggest that calling each other by their names again, confirms to both partners that you are individuals and are to be respected and perceived as such, rather than two halves of a whole.  It’s our partners individuality and differences that turns us on and keeps us interested. 

Q: You mention several times how good it is to be mysterious to our partners. Since you also cover the importance of having your own independence, it sounds like the mystery is separate from that. How is being “mysterious” to one’s partner different from being secretive?

Obviously being secretive isn’t good if it’s something important.  Being secretive can drive a wedge between two people.  We talked about being mysterious in a more light-hearted way.  In other words, your partner doesn’t need to know every tiny minutia of every thought and deed throughout your day.  He/she also doesn’t need to know everything you do in private either – in the bathroom especially!  Having some mystery is okay, as long as that doesn’t involve being unfaithful or out-and-out lying and/ or hiding major issues and things from one another.  All of us should be in touch with our own hearts and consciences.  We know what’s “wrong” when we do it, don’t we?  Of course these things need to be out in the open.  

So, from the perspective of one who doesn’t really do the self-help books here’s my opinion:  Overall, there was a lot of good information in the book. I don’t know that it’s worth the listed price of $14.95 – it was published back in 2010 and it is only 190 pages, after all, a lot that is filler – but I wouldn’t say it’s a waste of money, either.

*Real cavity-inducing nicknames changed to protect the guilty.

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Research shows  for every negative comment we receive it can take  from two to ten positive comments to offset the effect of the negative one.

That’s a 10-1 ratio!

Dr Phil states that it may take 100-1000 “atta boy’s” to cancel out one negative comment!

The same principle holds true when it comes to love, sex and marriage.  The subconscious mind “listens” to what you tell yourself, then the conscious mind  sets out to make the internal picture match the external picture.

So, if you are telling yourself that your sex life is boring and your orgasms are terrible, your mind sets out to match that picture.

Let’s face it, sex isn’t always easy, perfect and toe-curling.  Sex doesn’t always involve another person either. The art of self-love is often the longest running relationship any of us have, so why not make it AMAZING!

Cosmo magazine isn’t always the best “life your life” example, however they have a terrific article on feeling Sexy In Your Own Skin .

The best tip:  Ditch the Self Bashing Mind Set!

Be kinder, gentler to yourself!  The entire planet seems to be on a mission to break women down.  One glance through any rag mag Website, and you’ll see women being eaten alive for well, eating!  They’re still pushing the idea that women need to be a single-digit size to be desirable. The so-called “empowerment” magazines are guilty of it too. Take a look at their covers and see what they’re pushing.

While we’re not saying to let it all hang out and become Sister Sloppy in some sort of Rage Against the Machine tantrum. There is a happy medium.

Here’s how you can STOP the negative self-talk and start loving yourself more:

1.  Get Off the Merry-Go-Round!  Recognize this self-destructive sandwich?  It starts with, “I am so fat!”, is topped with “I eat too much!”  and spread with a layer of  ”I’m disgusting.” Oh, you’ve eaten off that menu, haven’t you? Take a deep breath and STOP ordering that sandwich.  Ask yourself if this is really TRUE about you.  Remind yourself that you are aware of the feelings, but maybe it’s high time you dine at a different restaurant with better ambiance. Screw Jared and his Subway.

2. Flip Your Script.  To change how we feel, we must first adjust how we talk to ourselves!  There is an amazing practice called Neuro-Linguistic Programming. In a nutshell it’s a system of empowering beliefs and understanding what the process of change is all about.  It teaches us that our behaviors, thoughts, and patterns are all learned and become what we believe and how we treat ourselves.  We tell ourselves a story about our lives and how we feel, then we set out to live that story.  Rewrite your script and you just might see a different version of your personal home movie.

3.  Redefine What You Think Is Sexy.  I had a great conversation with a best friend who lives in Rome, Italy. (YWGB Editor’s Note: I lived in Rome, NY. Not the same at all! )  

Here’s her experience of Roman women:

“Hallelujah women here are amazing. They aren’t prettier than North American woman. They just know how to dress and they have confidence. They are all shapes and sizes and they are gorgeous. They just ooze sexuality. It’s fabulous. After living here for three years, I have it down pat. I think it’s so sad that  American women lack that confidence in who they are. I think there needs to be a course in that. I think you could teach it. You would save 100 s of marriages and make tons of women happy.”

Her other observations:

* Italian women are masters at  confidence: It’s amazing to watch. It’s easier to learn because men respond openly. In  America it’s more subtle because of all the political correctness which  makes it more difficult. American women have no idea that simply licking a spoon can send men to the moon.

* It’s a blast walking down the street swinging your hips just the right way and making the men look. And they look regardless of your shape or size. It’s all in the attitude. I had lunch with a girlfriend the other day and the waiters couldn’t get enough of her. She is a plus-size gal and it was breathtaking to watch her work that room. Every guy in there wanted to bury his head in her breasts. Women in  America are taught to fear their sexuality. They are taught that only bad girls are like that and you could get yourself into a bad situation. It’s terrible what they do to us. We need to spread the word that women are sexual beings. We are supposed to be. We are born that way. It’s unnatural not to be. We need to revel in our sexuality. It’s where our true power lies. It’s the way God made us.

Did YOU know licking a spoon can send men to the moon?  I didn’t!

Let me tell you, I’m going to try it!

Redefine what is sexy for YOU.

Change how you look at your curves, your skin, your hair and your ass!

SEXY is what YOU think it is, not society.

Is this how you talk to yourself?

The trouble with this image is we as women plug ourselves into one side or the other.  Marilyn Monroe was a  curvaceous size 12.  Today, many stars are size 2 or 4.

When did our dress size become the benchmark of our sexy factor?

Stop wondering WHO you look like and start deciding how you want to feel!

It’s time to shut up “The Voice” and  fall in love with how you look!

The post It’s Time to Shut Up “The Voice” appeared first on You Won't Go Blind.

This is for the ladies who left the Vanilla Life long ago and can double cross off the suggestions on the Sex Bucket List many times over!

I’ve asked my faithful gal pals for things on their NASTY List and this is what they say!

1.  Put on a Pair of CFM (Come Fuck Me) Shoes and Get the Job Done.  You know the shoes I mean.  The ones that are 4″ high, strappy ankles, and scream “DO ME NOW!”  You can pick up a great pair at any shoe store.  Patent leather, red or black is the shoe of choice, however a sky-high stiletto or boot  in any color and material will do the trick.  The key to this is WEAR THEM TO BED!  Sure, they look nice when sitting around and chatting, but when you drag them down someone’s back, it’s all the better!

2.  Go to a Swing Club.  There are many club options in cities all over the planet.  They lean all the way from mild (sexy, naked dancing) to wild (a room filled with couples getting it on).  You don’t have to drop your drawers and participate however, WATCHING it might just be the fuel you need for your own fire when you get home.  Lots of clubs offer a “Newbie Night” for first-timers, so you won’t be the only ones there looking like a deer-in-headlights! But, if you are so moved…join in!  Everyone is there for the same reason and you just might find that this is one more to cross off on your Bucket List journey, and may even lead you to a Clothing-Optional resort, like we’ve covered here!

3.  Role Play.  Go all out! Buy that costume you’ve never dared to wear before, set up the “date”, and give it everything you’ve got.  Meet at a bar, let the rest of the patrons be part of the “game”, and let go of all your inhibitions about what is and isn’t appropriate.

Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn do an excellent, and might we add…HYSTERICAL job of role-playing in Four Christmases

4.  Video Yourselves.  Make your own personal sex tape, or read the manual and figure out how to hook your video camera up to your tv and watch the live action while you are having sex.  You don’t have to actually put anything down on tape and have that little gem go missing, but you can hook up a camera to a tv in your room and act like a movie is being shot!  Or, if you want a token of remembrance, you can always use your laptops webcam and shoot a scene or two…

5.  Take a BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Submission and Masochism) Class.  Many local adult stores have a wealth of information about classes, workshops, lectures and so much more on this subject.  BDSM may not be your first pursuit, but we guarantee there will be something out there to push your naughty boundaries and open you up to a whole new world.

Spill it, Nasty Girls!  What else do you think should be on this list?

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I admit it, I watch Showtime’s series “Gigolos”.

While not a consistent viewer (I only recently discovered it mid-season last year), I am HOOKED. Why? Because it is absolutely OPPOSITE of what we’re primed to see on television.

We’ve already had “Secret Confessions of a Call Girl” and then there was “Cathouse: The Series”, which while quite titillating at times when it was on the air, doesn’t quite equal to Gigolos, where we get to see male escorts being paid to rock women’s worlds.

And it’s raw.

The show is set in Vegas and centered around a group of  five men who are part of an agency called Cowboys 4 Angels.

Their job is officially to escort women to various venues around the city. Or in one case, take a limo ride around Vegas and use the back seat in ways you never thought possible. Yeah, tickling these gals’  insides is what these guys do. No apologies. They are peacock proud.

And while these men are all pretty studly, they do range in looks, which I find quite interesting—especially when it comes to Brace, the vet of the group. Bleach blonde, and rock muscled, Brace has to be at least, what…45 years old?! Yeah! Not a 20-year old stud at all. But very tanned, and very particular about the girls he likes. In other words, a bit shallow, given that he’s at the peak of his career. But when it comes to the rough and tumble, our guy keeps up with the best of ‘em, I have to say. BTW, he’s our back-of-the-limo-lover!

Then there’s Vin, the man-of-color, who in this past episode brought a remote control vibe on his ‘date’ and asked her to insert it  so they could “play” while sitting at the bar. After her shock, she agreed. Barring a few technical difficulties, it started to vibrate and she looked like she was going to pass out. They continued the fun upstairs–and this is what’s gasp-worthy about this show, they reveal all the positions. We see just how round his ass is when he’s going at it from behind. We’re able to see how strong he is when he’s picked up a woman and thrown her legs over his shoulders.

This is a constant close-up on this show–the ass-shot.

You get to see these men working their assets and for that I’m going to get old school and throw big two thumbs up. In fact, this show is probably the only time in my life where I’ve repeatedly yelled, “Damn!” to the television in delight. The movie screen for Magic Mike was another episode, but that was a bit more quiet.

But let’s just get this clear–you will not learn life lessons from Gigolos.

However, you will discover who the women are that hire these men, and I think it’s pretty interesting. You’d think they’d all be lonely, unattractive gals. Nope. They are all over the map. From lawyers in town on business to attractive party planners who don’t have time for relationships. There are widows who are getting back in the field and want to “clear the cobwebs” so-to-speak. Of course, there’s the proverbial unhappily married women stories as well. But for the most part, what you have are confident women looking for a little fun with a gorgeous man and willing to pay the price and bypass all the bullshit game playing you find in clubs, online, etc.

And for that, I actually applaud them! They don’t seem to have any shame in their game on this show. In fact, they seem downright proud to hire their man-toy for the night.

Men have been doing it forever. And in this show, sisters are doing it for themselves!

So I ask you ladies, if you could, would YOU hire a gigolo?    

image: Showtime

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by: Maria Lianos
You’ve been with your spouse for a number of years. You have kids. You work, come home, work some more and are exhausted by 9pm.

How the heck are you supposed to be in the mood to have sex?

This is something I hear all the time. Sad, isn’t it?

Who has the energy for sex at 10:00pm anyway? You’re probably ready to hit that pillow as soon as 8:30 pm rolls around. If only the kids would go to sleep before 9pm then maybe just maybe, there’d be a small chance we could get busy. But there’s always something that comes up. And maybe sometimes, you’d rather Tweet or blog than do the deed.

You have “date night”? Ah yes, a romantic candlelit dinner followed by salsa dancing at the club. Who are we kidding here?

How about morning? Most men wake up ready to go! But the kids are up by 6:30am and husband is already out the door so there goes that chance for sex at the crack of dawn.

Do you want to know the best time to have sex is? Lunch hour.

Sneak away during lunch hour for a quick afternoon romp. Tell your boss you have a sick child and take off work early before picking up the kids.

Both work outside the home? Do it like the good ole’ days – in your car.

Afternoon sex is much more convenient. You still have enough energy to actually have it, and if you’d had a morning workout, you’re more limber. Bonus! If you’re lucky and your kids nap, you can also take a quick snooze right after and be refreshed for the rest of the day. Like a mid-afternoon coffee and biscotti.

Before the kids arrived, you probably enjoyed sex morning, noon and night – anytime, anywhere, we were there. Oh those younger wilder years! It would just take one look and you would both drop everything and do it right there, no holds barred.

Now, you have to fit it into your hectic schedule: “Honey, can we do it tonight?” “No I can’t, I have too much to do. Maybe Saturday?” “Hmm, let me check my calendar.”
Some of us women complain about the fact that there is only enough time for a quickie – those fourteen minutes in between the kids’ bedtime and “Real Housewives of  Beverly Hills”. Just enough time to get the deed done. In and out. (No pun intended.) No bubbles and scented candles, no dancing to Barry White and gazing into each other’s eyes… leave that gooey stuff to The Young and the Restless.
Realistically, most of us are so busy and exhausted, that fourteen minutes is all we have the time and energy for anyway! “Ok honey, let’s hurry up and do this! I have a million things to do!” Because the last thing you want to do while you’re making love is to recite your grocery shopping list, and completely ruin the mood.

The truth is, it’s not the quantity of the time – it’s the quality. In those fourteen minutes, a lot can happen. The whole house can shake and rumble, the roof can explode and the angels can sing Hallelujah!

I say, as long as you’re making an effort and getting some alone time, whether it’s an hour or even fourteen minutes, you’re on the right track!

Maria Lianos is a mom of two and Publisher/Editor of her online magazine for moms, www.amotherworld.com . She also is a celebrity blogger for Babble’s Famecrawler. Follow her on Twitter @amotherworld 

image: Google

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