Semen Flavor Savors

by TraeB

Let’s get this out the way: I’m no fellatio expert nor a dietitian.

But, what I can tell you is that I’m a strong proponent of swallowing after climax. We were always taught that spitting is rude, no?

What you need to know, ladies (and gentlemen) is that a very large part of why you don’t like the taste of semen has a lot to do with his diet.

Yes, his input affects his “outcome” – so to speak.

Now, I could be all professional and such and post links backing up my claim – but really, just search for it. It’s all out there! It’s true, folks. THE INTERNET WAS MADE FOR PORN! (Do not search for “Sausage Pizza”. Trust.)

I can tell you from pure experience – a night of nachos dripping in greasy ground beef and topped with spicy salsa can make for quite the funky spunk. The higher the grease content, the more thicker the semen, it seems. That’s pretty spit worthy, I’d say. And spicy foods create and equally odd almost spicy, but gross and salty flavor that has many folks running south-of-the0-border, indeed.

Meaning, if you go to Taco Bell or a Mexican restaurant, dear sirs, don’t even think about coming near us.  If you do?

“Gross, I’m not letting him do THAT in my MOUTH!” Said every girl. Ever.

I date carnivores. In fact, my current paramour thrives on a diet of fast food, fatty cuts of beef, and constant cans of soda. We’ll ignore the fact that he’s still trimmer and fitter than I am and instead focus on the fact that he rarely gets to reach climax via oral simply because I just cannot fathom myself swallowing all of that. It’s simply not appetizing.

Here’s the rule of thumb I started following: 

1. If you eat or drink something and your urine smells stronger–think coffee, garlic, asparagus–chances are good your genitalia and anything coming out of said area will smell just as strong.

I’m not saying never consume these items again, but please skip it on date night. Instead, have a light salad and follow it up with some pineapple. Which would you rather choose? An 8oz Porterhouse or totally rocking her world?

2. Start adding more fruit to your diet and less junk food and overly noxious vegetables.

This  may fix that constant complaint of “she hates giving blow jobs.”

3. For the love of oral – DRINK MORE WATER.

 

To help you out, I’ve provided a link for your entertainment. Strangely “Semen Flavor” is not as popular as I thought it would be. (Really, do not search “sausage pizza”. You have been warned.)

http://blogs.laweekly.com/afterdark/2011/10/hate_the_taste_of_semen_masque.php

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'Semen Flavor Savors' have 2 comments

  1. June 26, 2012 @ 9:50 am @MryJhnsn from iNeedaPlaydate

    Ha! I have been saying this to girlfriends for years – so true! BTW, the Husband can attest to the food factor for us as well. He always knows when I smoke a cigarette or eat brown sugar on oatmeal.

  2. June 26, 2012 @ 10:12 am Mitchtress

    My rule? When ejaculation happens, my face had better not be anywhere in the *vicinity* of the eruption. Or I will be sponsoring an eruption of my own, which is probably about as pleasant as the “sausage pizza” search.

    I don’t mind it anywhere else, but near my face is NOT a good idea.


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