There’s an old joke that being bisexual automatically increases your chances of getting a date on Friday nights.
For some married women, their attraction to both genders pre-dates their marriages. However it’s not uncommon for these women to leave a long term relationship with a man and find themselves suddenly attracted to women. Some say it’s a response to past unpleasant male/female relationships, while others say a woman’s revelation that she’s attracted to ladies is simply a response to being free to explore her sexuality in new ways.
No matter whatever the reason you’re embracing your new desires whether you’re single, divorced or widowed, the feelings are perfectly normal.
Of course, if you’re really concerned or confused then talk with a trusted friend or counselor who can give you advice and perspective. Whether you’re new to the world of hetero-flexible dating, or returning to it, let’s take a look at some things to keep in mind.
Help, I’m New at This!
If you have no or limited experience with same-gender relationships, the trickiest part can be finding other ladies to date. Start by letting your open-minded friends know you’re looking, then expand your horizons on gay-friendly dating websites. Stick with upscale, paid sites, though, to weed out the crazies.
Once you start communicating with other women, make sure you’re clear upfront about your level of experience. Some bisexual women prefer to not date someone who’s just getting familiar with this side of their sexuality, while others find it alluring.
One thing to keep in mind: It’s fine to experiment with this side of your sexuality to see if it’s something you want to pursue long-term. Going out with a woman because you think it’ll make a “hot” story to tell potential male suitors is disrespectful, rude, and, sadly, something that happens all too often.
I’ve BTDT. What’s New?
If you’re a dyed-in-the-wool bisexual with experience romancing both genders, you’ll have an easier time navigating the dating world than someone who’s just starting to understand their feelings. You already know where the hotspots in town are and where to find women of a similar mindset.
If you haven’t dated other women since becoming a parent, however, you might be in for a pleasant surprise. Initial meetups and the first few get-togethers are a lot less complicated because many of the women you’ll meet also have children of their own. Grabbing coffee at the park while the kids play is a great, low-pressure way to have a chat and break the ice with someone you want to know better.
No matter your level of experience with this lifestyle, when you accept a date with a man it’s a good rule of thumb to keep your interest in women to yourself until you get to know him better. Rare is the man who can resist picturing a threesome once they find out you like ladies and, unfortunately, it often becomes an overriding issue in blossoming relationships between men and women. While you’re trying to get to know him all he’s thinking about is you and your last ladyfriend in a liplock, so save enlightening him about your interests for a (much) later date.
Bisexuality is nothing to shy away from, if that’s your proclivity. Embrace it, enjoy it, and have a great time.
Image: Kate Tegtmeyer