So I was assigned to watch the new show Polyamory and write a review.
In my opinion, it boils down to “Ugh”.
Let me explain: The concept of poly doesn’t bother me. It wouldn’t work for me, but neither do margaritas and green, leafy, should-be-legal substances, either. So, I don’t judge. I just pass.
No, it’s the show itself that gets the UGH.
I don’t like the people, the editing, or the way the content is presented.
Something tells me a real Polyamorous lifestyle (read: not lived for the tv cameras) wouldn’t look as trashy as it does on this show.
The first episode was about a couple moving into a “pod house” with another couple. It began with a shower-sex scene between the two women that was probably one of the least erotic things I’ve ever seen. Not because they were both women, but because there was no passion.
Then they hosted a “poly-potluck” (which kept making me think of that tiny doll with the microscopic accessories from the 80s). They made a point of making out with every one of their guests who was willing. Again, this didn’t sound like the poly lifestyle my research had led me to expect. There is a difference between polyamory and an orgy!
One of the husbands was just slimy. He had this shit-eating grin every time they interviewed him and all I could think was, ‘he’s just in this for unlimited sex with unlimited women. This isn’t something he believes in; he’s just a whore.’
The other couple crowed about how they actually had sex during their wedding ceremony right in front of everyone. That husband spent a lot of the episode acting like a schoolboy getting to make out – with tongue, whee! – with his wife’s favorite girlfriend.
Really, Showtime? You couldn’t have found a less sleazy example from which to explore this lifestyle?
The “Triad” was the other couple, and I liked them a little better because they at least seemed to be sincerely in love with each other. They went to the “poly potluck” to try and meet some people like them and genuinely wanted to learn. The sex in the bathtub bit I could have done without, though, but again, it’s just a matter of taste.
The second episode centered on coming out to one’s parents. Not much happened beyond a lot of talking head interviews, but just as I was starting to think maybe the previous episode was just a trashy one, the second ended with the skeevy husband (ha, which one?) saying, “Now, let’s just go have sex and then go to sleep!” Ugh. All that talk of love and devotion, and this is how they end the episode.
I will happily delete this show off my recording schedule.
I also plan to lie if anyone asks if I’ve ever watched it.
I’ll watch porn and either get turned on or have a blast making fun of it; this is the first time I’ve watched an adult show that made me want to go take a shower. Alone. To cleanse.
But doing research on this topic so I could understand the show and hopefully write an intelligent review got me wondering: what does a non-camera-filled poly relationship actually look like, and why is it taboo?
So I got permission to pursue it (I love my Editor!) and interviewed some of my friends who live the poly lifestyle, and one who is very deeply religious but somehow manages to avoid zealotry or proselytizing to see what they thought.
That’ll be Part 2 of the Great Polyamory Expose.