“Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing — and you don’t have to go home in the cold. But it’s lonely.”
– Robert A. Heinlein (Lazarus Long)
I have an inherent distrust of anyone who doesn’t masturbate, or anyone who says they don’t. I think they’re lying.
That being said, masturbation is a poor substitute for sex. Chocolate is even worse.
We as a culture spend a majority of our time on sex in one way or another. Don’t believe me? Between the media selling sex and everyone else telling us what’s wrong with the media for promoting it, it’s everywhere. In fact, to deny our sexuality is to deny what makes us human. Millions of years ago, natural selection resulted in a species of two sexes (well, three if you count RuPaul) and it did so for a reason. Because it works.
We spend our lives being told that sex is bad. Some of us try to abstain. We try to reign in our ‘baser’ instincts.
Who knows, maybe they’re right. Truthfully if you want to be technical, sex could very possibly kill you, so maybe it is bad.
What the human body goes through during sex can only be described as a violent reaction.
It’s messy, and yes, from a physiological standpoint it’s dangerous. Heart-rate increases, blood-pressure goes up, muscles spasm…
But it’s fun. Unbelievably fun. It has to be. If it wasn’t, the human race would have died out a hundred thousand years ago because very few people would willingly put themselves through parenthood without it.
Denying sex is denying a big part of what makes us human.
Denying sex is essentially saying that you’d really rather the human race die out.
But for what? So you can tell your friends how prim and proper you are? Here’s a news flash–like masturbation lies, we don’t believe it.
When you tell someone you’re not intimate from time to time in a good, old-fashioned, energetic, mount the handlebars on the headboard and ride kinda of way, well either you’re telling the truth and you’re an idiot or you’re a liar.
Sex is many things, but most of all it’s absolutely healthy. And I don’t just mean the conservative ‘man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick’ kind of sex. All sex between consenting adults is healthy. And in addition to that violent reaction, something else happens.
We bond. We connect on a level that’s not possible without it.
There is a very real important piece of a relationship that is made there. This connection is required for our long-term survival and happiness.
Masturbation, while it might take the edge off, can’t provide that bond between two people. Even mutual masturbation is better than doing it solo, because again, the human connection is very real and necessary to our existence.
Masturbation is perfectly normal and might tide you over, but in the end it’s like dining on air. No substance.