So C’mon…Talk Dirty To Me

Mar 14, 2011 by blindgal

I am a talker. I love words. I read, I write, I talk. I love words. I use them all the time.

Except when I’m having sex.

Then? Words escape me. If the sex is really good? Even my name escapes me. But when your in the midst of getting busy, names really aren’t important. Unless you use the wrong one. That? Is bad.

The thing is? Talking dirty? Is hot. I love the sound of my lovers voice in my ear telling me what he’s going to do to me or how I turn him on.

I used to have problems returning the favor. I knew the words to say, but hearing them come out of my mouth? Sounded forced, or funny, or inappropriate. Which? Sorta is the point. The inappropriate part, you know, inappropriate words. Never mind.

Learning to open my mouth and say things other than “Oh God.” and “More” or even “Oh, yes, there, right there” has taken time.

And practice.

At first, it was awkward and embarrassing. You have to get comfortable with the words themselves. And frankly, you can’t walk around practicing saying those kinds of things out loud. It’s all kinds of awkward and embarrassing for those around you. Also? They look at you like you’re crazy. I started out reading. There are plenty of romance novels, trashy slutty novels, or Penthouse Letters, to read to give you an idea of what words and phrases to use and what ones you can be comfortable with saying.

Once you’ve found your list of phrases and words you can comfortably say to yourself, and eventually to your partner, then it’s time to branch out. Try sending a sext message to your partner. Tell him what you want to do to him later. What you would like for him to do to you. Keep it simple. “I want you” works, or even “The things I want to do to you tonight…..” is always a good one. Trust me, he will be surprised and thrilled.

Once in bed with your partner, use what you’ve practiced. According the Sex and the City expert, Carrie Bradshaw, “Sometimes a simple ‘You’re so hard’ is quite effective.” Start out simple, whisper in your partner’s ear, “I love it when you….” and tell him. Or “I really like it when you…..” and tell him.

Once you find your words.. you may never shut up again.