Sometimes Love Shouldn’t Walk In

Mar 3, 2011 by Jen

I am sort of addicted to Modern Family. I say, “sort of” because sometimes I wait a few days before watching the most recent episode. And I say, “addicted” because I have never missed an episode.

So anyway.

On one recent episode the the teen/preteen kids walked in on their parents having sex. And because it’s a comedy written and acted by talented people who obviously have children of their own, everything turns out just fine. The kids wind up glad that their parents are still having sex. Which is great. But not helpful advice for those of us whose kids don’t know what sex is yet.

 

 

I’m pretty sure that I don’t want mine to find out about it by walking in on us, either.

The only thing that can kill the sex buzz faster than feeling fat is feeling like your kids could walk in on you at any moment. Remember the thrill of danger you had when your roommate could walk in at any moment? I think they take that thrill out with the placenta or when you sign those adoption papers. And they replace it with dread.

So you get a lock for your bedroom door. Or your bathroom door. You set up booby traps in the hallway so you can hear them coming. Maybe you even only do it when your parents take your kids for the night.* And that’s all fine, but it can lead to a bigger problem. When you hide your sex from your kids (which you TOTALLY should), you can take it too far. You can stop making out in front of them. You can stop leaning forward so that your husband can check out your cleavage. You can stop wearing the tight jeans. You can stop flirting, for heaven’s sake.

Then you have bad sex, because you haven’t been connecting as 2 adults who are hot for each other and because you know you only have 15 minutes until the baby wakes up. And then you have this vicious cycle of bad sex-lack of flirting-bad sex-no kissing and that sucks. Sometimes it even sucks so bad that people wind up cheating or collecting Beanie Babies.

I’m not saying you need to make out every time one of you needs to leave for work (although wouldn’t that be kind of awesome?), but just because your sex has to be limited by parenthood doesn’t mean your sexuality has to be.

 

*not recommended, unless your parents take your kids every few nights