Review: Playing Breast Dress Up With Ta-Ta-Toos

My husband Randy is not into body art, so temporary tattoos aren’t anything I would have looked for on my own.

But, with an assignment to try the Ta-ta-toos, I had a pretty funny evening.

The company sent me three tattoo kits to try and cover of the box shows a pair of very firm, perky breasts with the ta-ta-toos applied perfectly. The tats themselves are black with a red star and sassy, sexy sayings.

The ones I got said, “Satisfaction Guaranteed”, “Spank Me”, “Kiss Me” and three of them said “Lucky You”.

But they’re not a fixed set, you can mix and match; and after looking at them for a bit, I settled on “Lucky Me”, figuring Randy would appreciate the implied compliment.

So I went into the bathroom, took off my shirt and bra, opened the package and right away, I ran into a bit of trouble.

You see, the instructions are on the backs of the tattoos and in fairly small print.

I had to go get my reading glasses to see them.

Back into the shirt, into the living room where I keep the glasses, back into the bathroom and then I attempted to try it again. Now I can read the directions and they’re simple, which is good, because I’m the one they call whenever anyone claims to have something that is “idiot proof”.

First: clean, dry skin. Check. Second: peel the plastic sheet off the front of the tattoo and press it against the skin. Check.  Third: wet washcloth (I used warm water, because we all know what happens when our breasts get cold) and press against back of tattoo for 30 seconds. Check.

Finally: Peel gently away.

Now, I’ve done temporary tattoos before and this is always the part where everything goes to hell. It never peels off evenly, leaving me with a wadded up mess that adheres itself to my skin and permanently dyes it in some multi-colored blob. Or a host of other disasters.

So I was incredibly surprised when I indeed  had a perfect temporary tattoo.

I could feel them, but only when I moved a lot. They felt a little stiff, but it wasn’t uncomfortable and didn’t make me want to wash them off. I thought I might have actually branded myself with “Me Lucky”, because…see “idiot proof” remark above…but I did manage to accidentally get it right.

Randy was quite surprised when I casually took off my shirt as we were getting ready for bed and he saw them.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t turned on, but his initial reaction of wide eyes and an exclamation of, “What did you do?” was pretty funny!

Sadly, the Ta-ta-toos didn’t survive the shower.

They did survive the soaping and rinsing phase, but after I’d shaved my legs, I realized they were all but gone. Shame. But, it was a cool experience while it lasted. Applying them was easy; they looked good – as temporary tattoos go – and Randy’s reaction to them was fun. Also, imagining what his reaction would be made for some pretty good private entertainment as the evening wore on and bedtime approached.

The Ta-ta-toos, which cost $9.95, are fun, sexy and very eye-catching.  They take literally just a couple of minutes to apply; you could do it between dinner and dessert if you want to spice up “dessert”! Well worth it!

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'Review: Playing Breast Dress Up With Ta-Ta-Toos' have 4 comments

  1. October 11, 2012 @ 11:47 am Tootie

    Do they come in sizes? I’d need a 36 long.

  2. October 11, 2012 @ 11:57 am Mitch

    LOL, nope. But the writing is curved as though to cup your breast; just locate the part of you that fits the curve and put it there!

  3. October 11, 2012 @ 12:30 pm Tootie

    That would be the part by my knees. :~/

  4. October 11, 2012 @ 12:57 pm Mitch

    Was going to say, “locate the part of you that fits the curve and put it *way down* there”, but I thought that’d be rude. [eg]

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