Research shows for every negative comment we receive it can take from two to ten positive comments to offset the effect of the negative one.
That’s a 10-1 ratio!
Dr Phil states that it may take 100-1000 “atta boy’s” to cancel out one negative comment!
The same principle holds true when it comes to love, sex and marriage. The subconscious mind “listens” to what you tell yourself, then the conscious mind sets out to make the internal picture match the external picture.
So, if you are telling yourself that your sex life is boring and your orgasms are terrible, your mind sets out to match that picture.
Let’s face it, sex isn’t always easy, perfect and toe-curling. Sex doesn’t always involve another person either. The art of self-love is often the longest running relationship any of us have, so why not make it AMAZING!
Cosmo magazine isn’t always the best “life your life” example, however they have a terrific article on feeling Sexy In Your Own Skin .
The best tip: Ditch the Self Bashing Mind Set!
Be kinder, gentler to yourself! The entire planet seems to be on a mission to break women down. One glance through any rag mag Website, and you’ll see women being eaten alive for well, eating! They’re still pushing the idea that women need to be a single-digit size to be desirable. The so-called “empowerment” magazines are guilty of it too. Take a look at their covers and see what they’re pushing.
While we’re not saying to let it all hang out and become Sister Sloppy in some sort of Rage Against the Machine tantrum. There is a happy medium.
Here’s how you can STOP the negative self-talk and start loving yourself more:
1. Get Off the Merry-Go-Round! Recognize this self-destructive sandwich? It starts with, “I am so fat!”, is topped with “I eat too much!” and spread with a layer of “I’m disgusting.” Oh, you’ve eaten off that menu, haven’t you? Take a deep breath and STOP ordering that sandwich. Ask yourself if this is really TRUE about you. Remind yourself that you are aware of the feelings, but maybe it’s high time you dine at a different restaurant with better ambiance. Screw Jared and his Subway.
2. Flip Your Script. To change how we feel, we must first adjust how we talk to ourselves! There is an amazing practice called Neuro-Linguistic Programming. In a nutshell it’s a system of empowering beliefs and understanding what the process of change is all about. It teaches us that our behaviors, thoughts, and patterns are all learned and become what we believe and how we treat ourselves. We tell ourselves a story about our lives and how we feel, then we set out to live that story. Rewrite your script and you just might see a different version of your personal home movie.
3. Redefine What You Think Is Sexy. I had a great conversation with a best friend who lives in Rome, Italy. (YWGB Editor’s Note: I lived in Rome, NY. Not the same at all! )
Here’s her experience of Roman women:
“Hallelujah women here are amazing. They aren’t prettier than North American woman. They just know how to dress and they have confidence. They are all shapes and sizes and they are gorgeous. They just ooze sexuality. It’s fabulous. After living here for three years, I have it down pat. I think it’s so sad that American women lack that confidence in who they are. I think there needs to be a course in that. I think you could teach it. You would save 100 s of marriages and make tons of women happy.”
Her other observations:
* Italian women are masters at confidence: It’s amazing to watch. It’s easier to learn because men respond openly. In America it’s more subtle because of all the political correctness which makes it more difficult. American women have no idea that simply licking a spoon can send men to the moon.
* It’s a blast walking down the street swinging your hips just the right way and making the men look. And they look regardless of your shape or size. It’s all in the attitude. I had lunch with a girlfriend the other day and the waiters couldn’t get enough of her. She is a plus-size gal and it was breathtaking to watch her work that room. Every guy in there wanted to bury his head in her breasts. Women in America are taught to fear their sexuality. They are taught that only bad girls are like that and you could get yourself into a bad situation. It’s terrible what they do to us. We need to spread the word that women are sexual beings. We are supposed to be. We are born that way. It’s unnatural not to be. We need to revel in our sexuality. It’s where our true power lies. It’s the way God made us.
Did YOU know licking a spoon can send men to the moon? I didn’t!
Let me tell you, I’m going to try it!
Redefine what is sexy for YOU.
Change how you look at your curves, your skin, your hair and your ass!
SEXY is what YOU think it is, not society.
Is this how you talk to yourself?
The trouble with this image is we as women plug ourselves into one side or the other. Marilyn Monroe was a curvaceous size 12. Today, many stars are size 2 or 4.
When did our dress size become the benchmark of our sexy factor?
Stop wondering WHO you look like and start deciding how you want to feel!
It’s time to shut up “The Voice” and fall in love with how you look!