On Being A Better Wife

True or false? Men marry women because their penis told them to. Women marry men because they think they’re hot, funny and will make good providers.

In the beginning, both sexes are on their best behavior. We’re learning to play house so we do all the things we think exemplify the roles of husband and wife. And, we have a lot of sex. But, the months turn into years and somewhere, comfort sets in.

We all experience a period of marital decomposition, so no need to get indignant! Everyone knows relationships take work, and ladies, we can get complacent,  So, here are a few Golden Rules on Being a Better Wife.

Nix the Nagging. Get off his back. Sometimes when you want something done, it’s much easier to do it yourself. Except for changing the kitty litter and lifting heavy objects. Save the battles for things you really don’t want to do.

Forgive, Forget, and Move On. Yeah, I said it. If it happened a week ago, don’t bring it up today. Unless he cheated. That’s a different story.

Fight Fair. You can think whatever nasty name you want about him, but keep it tucked away in your head. Except variations on the word douchebag. Because I love that word. Everyone loves that word.

Tell Him You Love Him. Unless, of course, you don’t (and that’s a whole ‘nother subject). Listen, we spend all day smothering our children, friends, and/or family with every ounce of love and affection we have. We forget sometimes that our husbands are just kids in grown up bodies!

Do Something Special for him every day. Like, a blow job or cook dinner. Or a blow job. I know I’m gonna get heat on this “every day” thing, but I’m ready for you!

Be Cool with “Guy Time”. It gives us an excuse to have Girls’ Night Out without guilt!

Stop Expecting Him to Be a Mind Reader. Just because we are ESP Extraordinary doesn’t mean our mates are. So, we have to tell them, sometimes gently (and sometimes daily, BLERG!) what it is we expect of them.

Believe in Him. Let him know you do. Even if you have to keep your fingers crossed behind your back.

And lastly,

Show Him Some Respect. Especially in front of others.

It’s your turn. What do you do to be a better wife?

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'On Being A Better Wife' have 16 comments

  1. June 1, 2012 @ 3:11 pm Mitchtress

    Okay, I wanna hear how you’re ready to defend the “blow job every day” thing!

  2. June 1, 2012 @ 3:17 pm Chanize

    Oooh, Melissa! LOL
    I fully admit that I’m probably a crap wife. I feel like I did well with the “Be Cool with Guy Time” though. Dang. That’s sad!

  3. June 1, 2012 @ 3:18 pm Laurie

    I agree with everything here… the every day part could be harder than you think (yeah yeah, pun intended) but it’s worth trying for. The guidelines are easily reversed too!

  4. June 1, 2012 @ 3:42 pm Brenda

    Gotta agree with you. Stop expecting him to be a mind reader is a BIG one, IMO. I also like the do something special for him every day. Not going to be a blow job every day (here anyway) – otherwise it stops being “special” and then becomes ordinary and expected. LOL What I have started doing to be a better wife is start appreciating what he is and does (cooks dinner, gets up with the kids so I can sleep in) and stop getting mad about what he isn’t (he’s never going to put rose petals all over the bed and sing me a love song. LOL).

  5. June 1, 2012 @ 5:24 pm Ninjakar

    Understand HOW he tells you he loves you, because it might be different than the way you tell him. My husband is a man of few words, but tons of action. His “love language” is service. (Mind out of the gutters….) He makes my coffee in the morning. Not just a pot, but pours it and fixes it when I come downstairs. Could be that he doesn’t like me before I’ve had my coffee, but I digress… ;) On his way out the door, he puts my rolling bag in my car for me. He does housework with me, and we cook together. He respects me. All that said, one of my gifts to him is understanding what he’s telling me when he does these things, and understanding this is how he shows his heart. I appreciate what he does everyday, and let him know. :)

  6. June 1, 2012 @ 7:22 pm blindgal

    So, in response to the daily blow job…
    It’s merely a suggestion, one that I know my husband would appreciate despite the fact that it only happens about twice a week.

  7. June 1, 2012 @ 7:25 pm Mitchtress

    I agree with Brenda; also about the blowjob every day thing. Expecting DH to read my mind just upsets both of us, because we both know he can’t do it….except when he can do it.

    Like when I say, “What was the name of that guy in that show?” and he’ll provide the name with no other clue than that. Or I’ll have a song stuck in my head while he’s at work and he’ll send me a text complaining about having the same song stuck in his head. But *expecting* him to know what I really meant regardless of what I actually said is just a recipe for failure.

  8. June 1, 2012 @ 7:49 pm ArtsyJen

    I let him live. That’s being a good wife.

  9. June 1, 2012 @ 8:08 pm CJ

    Jim and I have been together 30 years. I am a typical Type A personality.
    One thing I wish I would have done different in the early years is when he was trying to help with the kids, housework, etc
    Not to tell him how to do it or have him do it my way. I should have just appreciated the help and left it at that.
    After awhile, they will just stop helping out!

  10. June 1, 2012 @ 11:47 pm Mommybear1 (Sherri)

    Well, now I know why I was divorced long ago. My daily routine wasn’t up to par. :)

  11. June 3, 2012 @ 7:02 am Mitchtress

    CJ: Yes! My sister does that, and it always amazes me. She admits that she’s being too anal and that insisting on having it done her way means she has to do it herself, at least.

    Me, I’m happy for the help. DH and I fold towels differently. I tri-fold them so the edges aren’t showing when the towel is hanging on the towel rod. I think it looks better that way. DH just plain old folds them. I gave up uniformity for help a long time ago, lol!

  12. June 3, 2012 @ 7:05 am Chelle

    I give blowjobs all the time. I also tend to do it quite often as he’s walking out the door. I think I’m just mean though and that’s why. I read this blog to Keith. There were interruptions of “Cha Ching”! and “YEAH” from the couch as I did so. I’m guilty of quite a few of these crimes. The ESP one especially. I like this blog.

  13. June 3, 2012 @ 7:48 am Wendy

    A few of these I’ve lived by, a few I’ve finally figured out the last few years, and all of them are spot on.

  14. June 4, 2012 @ 8:12 am Kathybat

    I was reaching the end of this blog and thinking “and I’m going to comment with “basically, show them respect” and then you said it. A relationship based on mutually shown respect will be a strong one.

    If you are going for a daily BJ, be sure to purchase some really good porn to put on to speed it up. As you get older, your neck and jaw aren’t what they used to be (not to mention the repetitive wear and tear!)!!

  15. June 4, 2012 @ 8:16 am Kathybat

    I’ll add, don’t withhold sex!!! As mentioned above, understand how your man tells you he loves you…a large part of it is through sex. Good or not it’s that connection to you they are making and way to many women(and some men) use it as a weapon and I’ve yet to see a woman “win” the war that way. Usually they end up divorced or just miserable for all the reasons they withheld and that the man has “checked out” of the relationship.

  16. June 6, 2012 @ 8:15 am How To Be a Better Husband | You Won't Go Blind

    […] already talked about being a better wife . Let’s talk to the husbands (boyfriends, partners) now. Fair is […]

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